I guess that the only thing i can say for this is that I have seen through my works process, comments, and all the things that once moved me to draw and enjoy the things that i draw, that i create and see, but for long , I've lacked in some things that At first sight Made this community special and thrilling , Also I've done mistakes that Deeply crush me from my heart, The lost of some one so special for me , that feed that need to produce Illustrations, drawings, sketches, art , that gave color to my world , not only has "corrupted me" in poetic words, but it also had lead me Into a road of Anxiety , Depression and Its ...sad...just sad, Above this I have the urge to change, From trademark to almost everything, , I tried to cheer my self up To don't quit on this page , and that's why I ask you People that followed me because of my art or that actually met me and talked to me , those who are my friends or those who had shared even just a small conversation , If its just a bad decision , because of a bad moment , or is it actually a good thing, at least a decent thing to do when you don't feel pleased whit your Journey in life so far.
Am I´m a fool?, Is it worth it? should I just shut up?...just let me know.
I remember just a few years back in 2009, That I realized the push and improvement that i needed to become a better artist , and in that point of life i had big plans , almost dazing of the things that awaited for me after i finished college , then I meet incredible people , talented, professional helpful , that helped me , even persons who meant more .
still in the urge to be the best for realizing all those goals I got drained by the works and assignments , works, and college, Only a few things keep me improving and smiling at what I love to do, And maybe I aimed to high for my situation, In every aspect I though that the world was open to me, the truth is that it wasn't ...
At least in most aspects. by this i let go of people around here when i should had grow up whit both the comments of those who just pass by and say something , and those who I saluted every night to chat and smile a bit. I lost that and by a time I lost impulse I focused more on other aspects that at the time seemed like the right thing to focus on.
The bad thing about that is that Everything you plan for the sake of yourself or the ones you care , can just fail ....time...distance, or even your own expectations can crumble in front of you.
Be the best doesn't cover you from that , Not even having good intentions seem to cover you from that , to the point of looking back and tell your self , this is not were I'm suppose to be at this point of my life....in Art aspects, professional aspects, life, country,dreams ....and whit my own self.
As some times I say For something that happened to me " when your the main pillar of your dreams and people you care and you break , you can pretend to be fixed but the truth is your broken" And by that I mean that despite all efforts there are some things that cannot be fixed, or its a hard road to fix . specially wen it comes to aspects that you thought as settle, I might deactivate this account or just let it there gathering dust, but I wont use it no more it remembers me to much things that I couldn't achieve , I'm not happy whit my self so Ill be taking the decision by the 10 of Jun , still I will not return to this account .
I'm sorry for the mistakes that i did, and the friends i lost trying to reach a dream that wasn't mean to be at this moment , I don't want to give up on it but, I have to fix my self for that some things just drive me crazy , and frustrates me , I guess a fresh start could be good for me .
Thank you to everyone that looked over this past years and commented / faved my works , Ill sent notes to some people Noting about my new account If they are willing to watch me again , Ill promise it will be better .
Thank you everyone , This place can show you art, but behind that there are amazing people that do it , that's why Ill start over again.